I’ve said it myself before. “The only New Year’s resolution I am making this year is to NOT make any more resolutions!” Why do we get so discouraged about it? The answer’s easy. Resolutions are hard to keep. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have to “resolve” to do a thing. Thankfully, I have changed my position on New Year’s Resolutions and here are a couple of reasons why: Number one, it is good to make a goal out loud. Even better to write it down. Number Two, benchmark days actually make it easier to keep resolutions. Our biggest reason for failure when it comes to resolutions is that we know the failure rate. Worse, we know OUR failure rate. So, we don’t expect to keep our resolutions. Here are 8 tips on how to make the right resolutions and how to keep them.

#1. Make a Resolution for Relationship. Nothing in your life matters as much as your relationships. You can make career goals, health goals, financial goals, etc. but if your relationships are difficult… if you are not related well with God, your spouse, your friends and your workmates, your life will not be as productive, and you will not be as happy as you want to be. Those other things may be important, but put your relationship at the top of the list.

#2. Find a book to help you with your relationship goals. If you want a suggestion for a book, let me know! Books are great at helping you stay on task with your resolutions, because you can make steps toward keeping your resolutions everyday, mostly by reading. So I actually recommend books toward keeping ANY of your resolutions. They will help.

#3. Make your relationship with God a resolution. This one is particularly good, because you can actually pray and ask Him to help. And He will! For ideas on this one, you can memorize a verse a day… or a week… or a month. Start somewhere. You can commit to a devotional like Oswald Chambers “My Utmost For His Highest.” It is high on my recommended list. You can pray daily. You can spend a given amount of time in His Word daily. Trust me. You will have more time in the day, if the first part is spent in His Word. Test me and see if it isn’t True.

#4. Make a resolution that benefits others. Sure, maybe you need to lose weight… for yourself. But understand fully the reasons behind it. Find a reason that is good for another person. Maybe you want to be able to play with your child or grandchild longer. Maybe you want to be more active with your spouse. Maybe you just want to be AROUND for your child, grandchildren and spouse! Whatever the reason, attach your own goal to helping another person. Make THEM what matters. It is a powerful motivator.

#5. Make your resolution what you have to do… not just what you want to do. I think I heard it first from Tony Robbins: “We all do what we must”. In order to keep a resolution, you have to mentally shift your thinking to move your goal from your “should” column to your “must” column. It has to be front and center in your mind. When you start to NOT do your resolution, remember you HAVE to do it. This may seem like it’s obvious, or you can’t do it. The fact is: You CAN. We all do what we MUST do. We all know people who have done what we are resolved to do and we also know that they do not have some sort of superpower. No, they were just able to decide on the choice(s) that would get them where they MUST get. You can find a way… but only if you MUST do it.

#6. Make a resolution to believe first. Look, it’s easy to get cynical. It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to think the worst about someone. Faith and belief in God, His Word, yourself and others may not be as easy but think of what Jesus said nearly every time He healed someone… “Your FAITH has made you well.” I don’t mean to say it’s just the belief of the person. I do believe in the power of God. What I think He meant by that is that His power is like a lamp’s power cord. There is no evidence of power until you plug it into your faith. Better put, your faith has power once you plug it into HIS power. If we can believe every Word that is said in the Bible, our ability to do anything increases exponentially. “We really can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.” We must consciously tap into that resource for ultimate power.

#7. Connect yourself with support. Finding others with similar resolutions will help tremendously. These days you can connect with online communities. As I mentioned before, you can read the books of others, which also provides a level of support. You can ask for accountability from others. Hear me on this however: Asking for accountability is DIFFERENT than telling someone your goals. When you merely tell someone your goal, and they affirm your desire to do a thing… much of the mental juice you get from doing the thing is actually supplied by their affirmation. You get the feeling that you have accomplished something BEFORE you complete it. This can be highly counterproductive. Be careful who you tell, and ask them for accountability. Ask them to hold your feet to the fire. Promise to give them money or mow their grass… every time you miss the deadline! That is accountability.

#8. Make your Resolution a stretch but make it doable. A pipe dream won’t help. For a real goal, you must attach dates to it and other details. Don’t think of what you’re giving up or losing. Think of what you’re gaining. Many folks have a weight loss goal. Don’t make it a loss goal. Make it a GAIN goal. What will you GAIN by losing weight? Make that your focus. It is much more motivating. Be specific about your gains and write them down. Give yourself credit for each mini-goal on the way to your final goal.

Finally, use the opportunity of the New Year to know better, what matters most to you. Make goals that fit that. You CAN make the right resolutions and keep them. Some may wonder what my resolution is for 2018. Primarily, it is to refuse to speak badly about anyone. Even if it is true. Throughout the Bible we are instructed this way. Colossians 3 comes to mind now. It is a terrible habit in our culture and produces zero good results. So… let me know if you hear an ill word about another come out of my mouth! Maybe I’ll mow your grass. I still have a few days to work out the details. I would love to hear your resolution. Especially if I may be able to help you be accountable. Please leave your comment on my blog below, and share with others using the share buttons. I am praying for God to give you ideas for great new starts in the New Year and for His continued peace and prosperity toward everything you do in His honor!