If you look around, it’s not hard to draw the conclusion that integrity is a nearly forgotten term in today’s society. Just watch a couple of Presidential debates and you’ll realize that even the most powerful people in the world have a problem getting speech and actions to coexist. The people who create the most positive change in the world, however, not only have integrity, they consistently work to build it and maintain it. According to Webster, “Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” That’s good but I like the Urban Dictionary’s definition: “Doing the right thing when nobody’s looking.” That is certainly evidence of integrity. I have found that learning to use one simple word is a key to building integrity. I believe it can help you too.

I want to suggest 4 ways that the word “AND” can be one of the most powerful devices to keep your direction consistent, build integrity, encourage and motivate. Before implementing the device, it’s important to know what you’re committed, to. Then, when you see you’re off track, use the word to remind you of your commitment and get back on track much faster. Here are some examples of how this works:

1. Work: Sometimes a project doesn’t turn out like I hope. I may lose a valuable client. I may be unhappy with the end result. My commitment is to do the best work I can and give more value to the client or employer than expected. So, my specific statement here would be something like, “Things did not go as planned and I have not (yet) produced the result I hoped for… AND I am committed to improve and create a possibility to make this workout to the benefit of the client, using the opportunity to give more value than expected… So, how do I do that?” Then, I work to find the answer to the question. It may involve more communication with the client. I recognize that it will certainly require more from me, but given that the expectation is within my ability, I make the effort. This keeps me moving toward having integrity in who I say I am, rather than getting bogged down in the land of “I’m-just-not-good-enough!”

2. Relationship: I am committed to my wife, as a husband but not only that. I want to take responsibility for how life occurs for her, particularly in her relationship with me. As with anyone, sometimes things disappoint her. Sometimes I disappoint her. How this technique shows up in this situation is, again, to remind myself of my commitment. Specifically, “I have disappointed my spouse… as a husband and a friend, I haven’t been what she needed… AND I am committed to making our relationship great. How do I do that?” Then I proceed to answer the question. It’s not always fast, it’s seldom easy, but the word, “AND” reminds me that there is more to the story than just hurt and dissatisfaction. There is commitment, and from that there is hope for more integrity and a better result next time.

3. Physical: (diet/exercise, etc.) I haven’t been very firm on a commitment long-term in this area but it is something I am working on. I think once I have my commitment intact, I will be able to use the same tools. So, let’s say you have a commitment to not have sugary foods but once a week. (Something I see in my near future.) If the situation comes up where you’re tempted to blow it and have it a second time, first, keep your commitment and not do it. BUT, if the time comes that you actually do blow it… The idea will be to acknowledge it AND restate your commitment. I hope you’re seeing the pattern here. “I just had a sugary ice cream cone for the second time this week AND I am committed to only having it once a week, so I am not reconfiguring my commitment, (i.e. you blew it… go eat all the sweets you want!)… no, I am reconfirming my commitment in order to be back on track instantly.”

4. Spiritual: It’s this area of commitment that I struggle with the most. It’s of course the one I should have the least struggle with. After all, God promises instant forgiveness and His Word is a constant reminder that it’s not my own “doing it right” that got me into perfect standing with Him in the first place. Still, when I commit myself to more prayer, daily study, ‘Bible-time’ with my wife, etc., missing once, can turn into twice… then three times. A better option is to acknowledge my need to nurture my integrity, AND remind myself that I am committed to be in prayer, daily study and have time in the Word with my wife. Sometimes it’s the commitments we want and enjoy the most, that get left out, soonest.

As a recap, make your commitments & work to keep them. If you blow it, use the opportunity to acknowledge the sidestep, restate your commitment AND stay on the course… AND I hope this has been of some help to you and that you will continue to correspond, subscribe and comment. If you believe this could help you or someone in your circle of influence, you can get the word out. Just click the “Share” button below.

I am praying that God blesses everything that you put your hand to, even today.